An Open Letter to the Catholic Church

Dear Catholic Church,

I understand youíve been losing momentum lately and are trying to figure out why. Iíve heard a number of compelling but very wrong explanations of why you are losing momentum, and I am writing this letter to set the matter straight. The problem isnít any perverse and publicized behavior of some of your priests. The problem isnít a growing weariness with organized religion in general, and the problem isn't even the growing disconnect between science and religion. It should be noted, though, that if you didnít have such a disconnect, you would have noticed the problem yourself. Here's the problem with the momentum of the Catholic Church:

If You Want to Have Momentum, You Need to Have Mass More than Once a Week.

In fact, you need to have it constantly if you want to have momentum. Mass is a critical part of momentum, and this once a week garbage simply will not work. And speaking of work, youíll have a lot more of it if you follow my advice. In fact, Catholic Church, youíll have more energy, and more force too. You know, Catholic Church, youíll even have more power, and I know how you like power. Mass is a critical part of all of those things, and it baffles me how you survived this long without it. Institute a policy of having it constantly as soon as you can, and all your problems will disappear.