Let’s face it. We don’t treat our prefixes fairly. The negation bunch, like un-, in-, anti- and a-, get all the glory while hardworking prefixes that don’t have seven other buddies covering their backs do all the work. There is one prefix that I have particularly in mind, one that is continually serving the greater good without anyone thanking it. The prefix is s-. Unlike those showboating prefixes, s- has a limited usage, so you might not recognize it instantly. However, if you’ve ever lived in a dorm with college students, who are all hormone crazy, you’ve probably had an opportunity to use it. S- goes in front of any word that starts with the “ex” sound, and changes the meaning to “whatever the word said before the addition, but with sex.” I’ve lived with said hormone crazed college students, and as a result I know quite a few people that have been sexiled. Exiled because their roommate wanted to have sex in their room without them being in there. Get it?
Clearly, s- is a great prefix, so I decided to honor it with a list of the greatest applications of the s- prefix. I encourage you to use almost all of these words in your daily vocabulary. So, without further ado, and arranged in no particular order:
The 15 Greatest Uses of the “s-” Prefix
1. Sexiled: This is the king of s- usages, mostly because you get a lot of chances to use it. Still, don’t miss any of those chances.
2. Sexploits: As in the sentence: “Brad was a cocky son of a gun, always bragging about his sexploits.”
3. Sexercise: Honestly, I don’t have any idea what Pilates are, but I’m sure sexercise is much better.
4. Sexorcise: Just like removing evil spirits is way cooler than burning calories, removing evil spirits with sex is way cooler than burning calories with sex.
5. Sexit strategy for Iraq: This is a really good strategy.
6. Secstasy: A little redundant, perhaps, but still a good word.
7. Sexodus: “Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings sexactly like the pattern I will show you.” –Sexodus 25:9 (NIV)
8. Sexegesis: As with any finite set, my vocabulary is limited, and I didn’t know what exegesis meant. It means “a critical explanation or analysis, especially of a text.” Now, imagine that with sex. That’s what sexegesis means, and that is awesome.
9-11. The sex- family: Ex- is a pretty good prefix in its own right, but plop s- on it, and you get some awesome words:
9. Sex-boss: As in: “Your sex-boss fired you because you were bad in bed.”
10. Sex-girlfriend: This is a much more to the point way of saying “friends with benefits.”
11. Sex-president: The saxophone is a sexy instrument.
12. Sexcommunication: As far as I can tell, this means you can’t have sex with a church. This is a good rule.
13. Sextract: Gross and confusing when used in the context of sextracting minerals, suave and Bondish when used in the context of sextracting information.
14. Your Sexcellency: Go ahead and call yourself this, and watch the ladies flock to you.
15. Sexcalibur: While I think naming your penis is a stupid practice, if you have to do it, I can think of no name better than one meaning “the legendary sword of sex.” Unless of course you add on the part about how you have to give it back to the lady of the lake when you are done with it. That’s kind of weird.
16. Sexcapade: While sexcapade would be a good word, it doesn’t follow the rules because escapade starts with an “es”. To that end, it gets a big fat DQ.
Well, that’s the list. I’m sure there are many other fabulous uses of s-, because it is a fabulous prefix.
I forgot about sexonerated. Damn it.