I realize that it is a disgusting trait, but I will freely admit that I enjoy things a lot more when they aren’t popular. I used to dislike rap, but I slowly grew fond of it soon after I realized that disliking rap was the norm. I didn’t go through an explicit thought process where I decided that rap was unpopular enough for me to like, but this type of thing has been happening too often for me to believe that it is a coincidence. I didn’t like Pokémon when it was popular, and I thought Napoleon Dynamite was alright until I realized the massive appeal it has. Popularity ruins.

How popular does something have to be? Well, for most people, pretty darn popular. Punks managed to survive Avril Lavigne’s self-association with the genre, but it took every other band on MTV calling itself a punk band to break the hearts of the poor little punk rockers. Either that or the faux-hawk, but the faux-hawk breaks everyone’s heart, really. But in this matter, and, obviously, several other matters, I am way more hardcore than the punk scene. Someone merely needs to suggest a passing interest in something for me to no longer like it. I don’t like Mitch Hedberg’s joke about corn on the cob any more, because some freshman said it was his favorite one. I was wearing my favorite shirt one time and a girl said she liked it, so I buried the shirt deep in my dresser and never spoke to the girl again. After my mother told me she thought I had nice eyes, I watched Minority Report twenty times in a row to try to learn how to surgically replace them with the eyes of some other dude. It solved the problem, but not in the way I expected, because after watching that lame movie twenty times I gauged my eyes out.

So, at what point am I trying to get? I’ll tell you:

I hate huckabees.