As the wise Beast from X-Men remarked “if less is more then just think how much more ‘more’ will be.” This sentiment is absolutely right. Not only is the more the merrier, but it is also the cooler and the better. Keeping this in mind, here are a few suggested ways in which the world would be much improved:

The Bermuda Quadrangle: The Bermuda Triangle is formed by Miami, San Juan and Bermuda. Any plane or boat that comes anywhere near this area immediately disappears. The triangle is pretty cool, but it would be even cooler if a fourth point was chosen and a quadrangle was formed. For the fourth point, I nominate a shark. It’s a great idea, because sharks have to move all the time or they will drown. What’s so great about that? Let me explain:

If the shark moves within the area that is currently the Bermuda Triangle, the area of the Bermuda Quadrangle would decrease, resulting in the loss of less lives. Saving lives is cool.

If the shark moves outside the area that is currently the Bermuda Triangle, the area of the Bermuda Quadrangle would increase, resulting in the mysterious disappearance of more ships and planes. Mysterious disappearances are cool. Also, if the Bermuda Quadrangle extended onto the mainland, which it could, cars and bicycles would start disappearing too.

If the shark moves onto one of the lines that currently defines the Bermuda Triangle, the area of the Bermuda Quadrangle would be the same, resulting in nothing interesting. Still, a polygon with a collinear shark is way cooler than the average polygon, so this is an improvement.

Quadruple Blindness: When designing a study involving human participants, good researchers will strive for double blindness. This means that neither the subjects of the experiment or the people administering the experiment know what the actual purpose of the experiment is. This technique eliminates bias. I want to eliminate as much bias as possible, so I advocate going two steps further:

Firstly, triple blindness. The person designing the experiment should not know the actual purpose of the experiment. Normally, experimental set-ups are biased to either provide grounds to support or reject a hypothesis. With triple blindness, this bias is eliminated.

Then, quadruple blindness. In addition to the subjects, the experimenters, and the designers not knowing what the experiment is about, they should also be blind.

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover: Paul Simon wrote and performed this one song called “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” As it happens, he only mentions five, and they aren’t even good ways. I presented at least that many in my article about breaking up, and they were all really good. Paul Simon owes me 45 ways to leave my lover.

I'll send you back to the essence.