Rather than trying to make a website that has something for everybody, I wanted to have everything for everybody. So, I decided to start an advice column to help people apply my wisdom to their everyday lives. Of course, none of this could be done without people seeking my advice, and to my surprise, emails actually came and I was able to help a handful of people. I present now, the fruits of my labor, so that you might be helped as well…
Ask Sanjay, Who Happens to be Great
Two of the people who sent me emails weren’t comfortable with me putting their picture next to their email, which was my plan. In place of their pictures I used pictures of my least favorite Planeteers. Don’t read anything into the picture selection. I am not trying to imply that my supplicants heated up the Cold War with their romantic tension and love that could not be.
Hey, Sanjay! Love your website!!! I have a problem and I feel like, given the expertise shown on the site, you would be well qualified to address it. Maybe if you dealt with it well you could post it so everyone could read how smart you are. Anyway, here is the problem: I just turned twenty seven and I have never dated despite many efforts on my part! I figure there are two ways to start a relationship: Either I can express interest in some guy or a guy can express interest in me, and we go from there. I’ve liked a few guys and when I can gather up the courage I tell them so I get rejected! I refuse to date anyone that expresses interest in me because I have a pretty low opinion of myself and I figure anyone with that poor taste probably isn’t very worthwhile??? Still, I am worried that I am missing out on half the fish in the sea, since I’ve rejected half the ways to start a relationship! What do you think I should do`
Sincerely,
Melissa
What should you do? Firstly, you should use proper punctuation and capitalization when you address Sanjay “The Counterargument” Kulkarni if you expect him to put your email on his website. I fixed it up nice; I even tried to give you an interrobang at the end but it isn't really working in Firefox. Still, pretty sweet. Secondly, you shouldn’t worry about “missing out on half the fish in the sea.” Chances are there aren’t a lot of guys interested in you, so really you’d only be missing out on a small portion of possible boyfriends. My guess is one sixteenth or perhaps one twentieth. Thirdly, use more pickup lines. I like “I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?” but you should find one that really works for you.
Hello, Sanjay Kulkarni. Based on reading your website, I decided that you have probably loved more passionately and more purely than anyone I have ever encountered. At least, more so than anyone I have ever encountered on the ol’ Wild Wild World Wide Web. I think this makes you amply qualified to relate to the details that I shall relate to you. I am still quite deeply smitten with my boyfriend of four years and we share the same goals for the future and we even are in agreement with regards to what names make good names for kids and what names are best left unused. “Maurice” is our favorite. Anyway, we want to get married, but we can’t because we are both male and our country does not allow same-sex marriages. Have you ever been legally barred from marrying someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with? What did you do?
The website is great,
Steve
Personally, I don’t really care for the name “Maurice,” but what is important is that you guys like it. Thank you for the kind words about my website and the passion and purity of my previous and present loves. To answer your question, yes. I think it’s kind of pathetic that in the United States of America, the land of individualism, I can't marry the one person I love the most, myself. That’s the way it is, though. I don’t know what I’d do in your situation, but what I plan to do is find some person that has lots of traits in common with me and marry them instead. Most people in my society have this idea that you should marry someone with similar traits to yourself so everything works out wonderfully for me. I realize my solution probably doesn’t help you very much. Sorry. I wish you the best of luck to you and your boyfriend in having satisfying and successful lives.
I was reading your website and I came across your article about God-shaped holes and I came to the conclusion that you are a much better Christian theologian than me. Also, I think that the appropriate order to read The Chronicles of Narnia is with The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe first. What do you think?
Yours,
C.S. Lewis
We are thoroughly agreed on the latter point, but not on the former. I think that though my God-shaped holes article was better than anything you’ve ever written, the sheer volume of your work in the field of Christian theology places you ahead of me. Thanks for your high regard, though.
Hey, Sanjay! Love your website!!! I have a problem and I feel like, given the expertise shown on the site, you would be well qualified to address it. Maybe if you dealt with it well you could post it so everyone could read how smart you are. Anyway, here is the problem: I just turned twenty seven and I have never dated despite many efforts on my part! I figure there are two ways to start a relationship: Either I can express interest in some guy or a guy can express interest in me, and we go from there. I’ve liked a few guys and when I can gather up the courage I tell them so I get rejected! I refuse to date anyone that expresses interest in me because I have a pretty low opinion of myself and I figure anyone with that poor taste probably isn’t very worthwhile??? Still, I am worried that I am missing out on half the fish in the sea, since I’ve rejected half the ways to start a relationship! What do you think I should do`
What should you do? Firstly, you should use proper punctuation and capitalization when you address Sanjay “The Counterargument” Kulkarni if you expect him to put your email on his website. I fixed it up nice; I even tried to give you an interrobang at the end but it isn't really working in Firefox. Still, pretty sweet. Secondly, you shouldn’t worry about “missing out on half the fish in the sea.” Chances are there aren’t a lot of guys interested in you, so really you’d only be missing out on a small portion of possible boyfriends. My guess is one sixteenth or perhaps one twentieth. Thirdly, use more pickup lines. I like “I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?” but you should find one that really works for you.
Hello, Sanjay Kulkarni. Based on reading your website, I decided that you have probably loved more passionately and more purely than anyone I have ever encountered. At least, more so than anyone I have ever encountered on the ol’ Wild Wild World Wide Web. I think this makes you amply qualified to relate to the details that I shall relate to you. I am still quite deeply smitten with my boyfriend of four years and we share the same goals for the future and we even are in agreement with regards to what names make good names for kids and what names are best left unused. “Maurice” is our favorite. Anyway, we want to get married, but we can’t because we are both male and our country does not allow same-sex marriages. Have you ever been legally barred from marrying someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with? What did you do?
I was reading your website and I came across